A Diabetic’s Idea of a Joke

Here is a list of some funny things that have happened to me. These are the kind of things that any “normal” person wouldn’t laugh at.

1.  My grandfather thought he could give me shots because he has a diabetic cat. I had a huge bruise after he stuck the needle in my arm. I haven’t let him give me a shot since.

2.  When my Tae Kwon Do teacher found out that I had Diabetes, he patted my arm and said, “Don’t worry. It happens to all of us.”

3.  A week after I was diagnosed with Diabetes a friend sent me candy to make me feel better. It was traumatizing after I had just found out that I might never be able to have sugar again. It doesn’t matter now, as I would have just eaten it, but at the time my mom laughed and I cried.

4.  My mother gave my grandfather strict instructions to go the store, and get some diet soda for Claire. Let’s repeat that. Diet. He came back with regular sodas that were all caffeine free. He thought that I couldn’t have caffeine.

Diabetic Jumping Rope5.  When I was first diagnosed with Diabetes my parents were terrified of giving me insulin when I was high. So whenever I was 300 they sent me outside to jump with a jumprope.

6.  I forget my Diabetes kit in the most random places: Tae Kwon Do, in a Mexican restaurant, etc. They all end with me running to that place as fast as I can or my parents driving me there.

7.  I took a shower and couldn’t find my pump to reconnect. The whole family searched the entire house, until I realized that it was just in the bathroom.

8.  I jumped into the pool with my pump on without realizing it. Then my mom looked down and I got out real quick. Luckily it was water proof.

9.  My hands were full of things and my brother was teasing me. Instead of throwing a towel or something at him I throw my insulin pump. It survived the encounter, and it was only about a foot long toss. My brother ducked.

10.  My pump tubing caught on the door knob and I tripped. I had bruises for the next two weeks.


Claire Montgomery
Type 1 Diabetic, Diabetic Teenage Blogger, Odd Event Attracter

Give Me The Candy!

Low blood sugars in Mexico.

When I’m low at school, I eat Smarties. Unlike in the US, people here don’t really know that I have diabetes, where in the States, it was just some sort of random information that wasn’t big news.

Here, nobody knows about it. I mean, I don’t like to publicize the fact that I have diabetes, but it’s really hard to explain to people that I have it when they notice my insulin pump or see me testing my blood sugar, because I don’t speak Spanish, and my questioners usually don’t speak English. I can usually fumble out a sentence or two, but they just look at me blankly when I say, “Tengo diabetes.” (“I have diabetes.”) Then they nod wisely as if they know exactly what I’m talking about, but turn around and shrug at their neighbor. And I don’t have enough language skills to explain what it is.

So back to the Smarties issue. So, as you know, I eat Smarties when I’m low. I hang out with a strange group of friends at school in Mexico. Two girls speak pretty fluent English and another girl speaks a ton of English, but is in no way fluent. Her name is Adriana. Sofie and Atalya are the fluent ones.

So one day I made the mistake of giving them all Smarties and Adriana hasn’t left me alone since. “Can I have some candies? Can I have some candies? Can I have some candies?” She doesn’t understand that I have to have these candies or I’m in trouble if I’m low. Finally I got fed up with it and got Sofie to translate that if I didn’t have these candies, I could end up in serious trouble that might end up in a trip to the hospital. Adriana left me alone for about thirty seconds and then started asking me for more candies. Here’s what I say to this: Never give candy to someone who doesn’t understand why you might eventually need it.


Claire Montgomery
Type 1 Diabetic, Diabetic Teenage Blogger, Candy Giver

I’m a Human Pincushion: Needles ‘N Things

A Teenage Diabetic Tests her Blood SugarIn which people ask me if it hurts to stick a needle into my finger.

The first thing that everyone asks me when they first see me testing is if it hurts. I find this to be very weird. I don’t know why, but I do.

And I never know how to answer. My answer varies from time to time. Currently its, “Oh, you get used to it.” I mean, I suppose sticking a needle into your finger does hurt, but I really don’t feel it any more. It’s just a norm for me.

And that’s the same with pump sets. I use the Medtronic Silhouette pump sets for my stomach. That’s where you have to actually stick a very long needle into yourself because the inserter doesn’t get the angle right. It’s a shallow angle, but you still have to stick a freakin’ needle into your body!!Silhouette pump sets for Diabetes
For my butt, I use the Medtronic Quick Set. This is much less stressful because I use the little blue inserter thingy, but still, an actual needle does go into my body.
Point taken about the pump sets, people ask me if it hurts then, also. And there, also, I don’t know how to answer. I mean, I suppose it does, and sometimes more than others, but is it really pain if you’re completely used to it?

Needles are just a second nature to us diabetics.

And that brings me to a HUGE pet peeve of mine: People who say that they can’t stand needles.

Even my best friend says this. “Oh, I can’t stand needles. I’d, like, die, if I ever got Diabetes.” I absolutely HATE that. My first reaction is to think, “Well, honey, I’d rather get shots and poked instead of die a very long and painful death.” And for people who faint when encountering a needle: bah!!

Dad got his blood drawn for some diabetes tests by two diabetics. The test was at my diabetes camp, and not really private. So there were maybe sixty or so other diabetics in the room, and his two diabetic blood drawers. You can take this numbing cream if you want, but because Dad was with these two diabetics, and with all those people in the room, he didn’t take it to try to look all tough. I mean, it doesn’t hurt that bad, but when your surrounded by people who get poked daily, you can’t cry. Me? I laughed.

And an interesting piece of information, people can’t stand watching me give myself a set change, but they love to watch me poke myself. Odd, eh?


Claire Montgomery
Type 1 Diabetic, Diabetic Self Pump Set Inserter, Human Pincushion